Reformation
500 WEEK 39: Heidelberg Catechism QA 104
Question 104: What does
God require in the fifth Commandment?
That I show all honor, love, and
faithfulness to my father and mother, and to all in authority over me, submit
myself with due obedience to all their good instruction and correction, and
also bear patiently with their infirmities [weaknesses], since it is God’s will
to govern us by their hand.
The
Fifth Commandment, “honor your father and your mother,” is first in the second
table of the law, because it is in the home where we begin to learn how to love
our neighbor as our self and to submit to all authority in society. The purpose
“of this commandment is the preservation of civil order,” and parental
authority and government “was the first established among men” (Ursinus, 575).
Behind this commandment is the truth that God governs us through various kinds
of authority. “For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities
that exist are appointed by God. Therefore, whoever resists the authority
resists the ordinance of God” (Rom. 13:1-2). The only exception to our obedience
to men is if they command us to disobey God, in which case, “we ought to obey
God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). Parental authority is the foundation of all
authority. Since God knows the depravity of our hearts, that we submit to
authority grudgingly, He starts us off with that submission which is easiest to tolerate, in order to gradually
accustom us to submit to all other lawful authority.
The
fact that the Bible directs this commandment to children in the church teaches
us that God redeems children through faith in Christ from the penalty and bondage
of sin, including the sin of dishonoring parents; so that they learn to honor,
love, and obey their parents out of thankfulness for salvation. “Children, obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Eph. 6:1). The words, “in
the Lord,” mean that this obedience “should be religious; arising out of the
conviction that such obedience is the will of the Lord. This makes it a higher
service than if rendered from fear or from mere natural affection” (Charles
Hodge, on Eph. 6:1).
The basic meaning of the word honor
is “weighty, of great value and worth.” To honor our parents is to treat them
as carrying a lot of weight, as very valuable and worthy of respect, because it
is God’s will to govern us by their hand. Therefore, we “should treat them with honor, obedience, and gratefulness. It follows
from this that we are forbidden to detract from their dignity either by
contempt, by stubbornness, or by ungratefulness [Matt. 15:4-6]” (Calvin, Institutes,
2.8.35). On the other hand, “when God requires
parents to be honored, He at the same time demands that they so discharge the
duties of parents as to be worthy of honor [Prov. 22:6; Eph. 6:4]” (Ursinus,
576).
Honoring
parents also means to bear patiently with their weaknesses, even when they
behave dishonorably (Gen. 9:18-23). This does not mean children have to
put up with abuse. Parents who abuse their children are breaking the law, and
abusing the authority God gave them. Therefore, “if our parents spur us to transgress
the law, we have a right to regard them not as parents, but as strangers who
are trying to lead us away from obedience to our true Father” (Calvin, Institutes,
2.8.38). Abused or abandoned children do not have the right to be bitter or to
rage against society. Only the Lord can heal their broken heart and bitterness.
“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me”
(Psalm 27:10).
NOTE: These Posts were written and designed as bulletin inserts by Pastor David Fagrey of the Grace Reformed Church of Rapid City, SD .
Link to this blog entry as a bulletin insert: Reformation 500 Heidelberg Catechism QA 104
For a double-sided PDF for easy printing: Reformation 500 Week 39
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